as actually happening. Seriously, plan on the worst case and then work for what you feel is right. I've known a lot of people who've based very serious decisions upon what they want to have happen, getting less they are caught with their pants down and use it to sink deeper into that dark hole. The more you set up contingencies, options and plan accordingly you can then be prepared for the counter attacks as well as set backs. I use the term 'robot mode' for this kind of shit completely remove yourself from the drama to the best of your ability..pull away from it when you are doing this and think like the old basic computer language if this, then that. Even if you HATE the thought of it just know you can. Also use this stupid affair to your benefit, you wife wants this new fantasy life. She's got visions in her head of what life be like and she'll do some stupid shit to get it. It's leverage AND she's distracted, she wants a quick you go fuck yourself divorce because that allows her to just not deal with the consequences. Let her get emotional and all ass hurt about not being able to run off YOU don't. You don't express shit to her, no sadness, no pain, no anger zip, you go emotionless during that time. You need to express it, get a counselor or close and I mean someone who can keep their mouth fucking closed kind of friend to talk it out with. Not her NEVER. Business that's all this is now. Recovery comes later. You need you, you need a clear headed you, a smart you and you need to do it when it's the last thing you want to do. It sucks, sucks bad but that my friend is beside the point. Good luck and keep plugging away at it.
But being in a logical mode allows me to be well, logical. I don't ACT key word there, ACT in a manner that would potentially damage any leverage I might have or make a statement that could be used against me later on. It's NOT too late to start and why the fuck do you want to get a reaction from her? DUDE she's leaving. I know it hurts but that isn't going to change what's going on. You're adding to your pain there's enough already so quit it. What's gained from it? a path to a quicker resolution of issues and a final divorce. knowing you faced down this event without striking out in bitterness and anger Understanding that you didn't let your feelings get in the way of the best possible solution you could get your. eliminating the unknowns and reducing your stress for the HAUL and last but not least you said it all, "I hate being that way" You want to look back on this and be able to say 'well she fucked me over'? or would you prefer to get to a place where this happened to you but you somehow got through it and built a better life? don't know if this makes sense but emotions have to catch up to the action. You do the right things, work hard, improve yourself and your life and THEN you start feeling better and stronger. You try to feel better so you can improve and you'll have a much longer and more difficult recovery. Puttin your emotions aside help you do that.